It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I love having hate sex.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
The air taste purple.
Randomize
