it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Randomize
