theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Even the bartender felt bad for me
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
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