just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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