My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
