it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
These tits shall not be calmed
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize