Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
a search helicopter?!
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
