ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
