spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
