I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize