Where is the hickey?
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Randomize
