I can feel you judging me through the phone.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
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