I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
