Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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