Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Sorry my hands just texted you
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
