love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
