tell your sister to shave her snatch
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize