So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
no, he came in my armpit
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
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