her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
