you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Randomize
