you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
