And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
