Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
