im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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