nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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