Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
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