WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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