i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Randomize
