some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
