We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
