What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
im on a boat
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