Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
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