Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
