i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
