i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
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