Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
and she was petting her beer can
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
