there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
