i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
This is the high leading the old right now
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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