I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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