I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
