I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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