I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
