if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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