drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize