I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
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