Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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