do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
