I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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