jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
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