i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Randomize
