Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
