the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
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