Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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