were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
