apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize