I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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